Saturday, February 12, 2011

I love you, but, STFU

"Valentine's Day is around the corner and I'm already super depressed. I am single and have been valentine-less for four years now. I just want to crawl under the covers and pretend like this day doesn't exist. I'm a total romantic at heart and I don't know how to not get down around this holiday, any suggestions?"
- Valentine-less, 28, Atlanta

If any of my readers currently feel this way please go to your kitchens right now,  grab your sharpest knife, and stab yourself in the foot. Hard.

Dear Valentine-less, 
My suggestion, get a hobby, an unhealthy drinking habit and some gay friends.
Love: Ing.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not having someone on Valentine's Day. I asked a gay man to be MY Valentine :::waves and winks at Henry::::: Needless to say, the chances of me having a magical, romantic, sex-filled, Valentine's Day is not "slim to none".... it's basically NONE. 

Valentine's Day Suicide Party? Depressed chicks in Georgia!? Pu-leeeze....if you're going to feel bad for yourself why specifically feel bad on Feb 14th? Do it EVERY DAY, like the rest of us, but dont feel bad for yourself because you're alone. Feel bad for more important things like, not doing more to help Darfur or whatever the fuck. This Valentine's Day, I want you all to celebrate love, not romantic love. Love for the people and things that make you happy in life. 

No sobbing, No moping, But maybe a few drinks!

1 comment:

  1. These are the posts I love to read! This was hysterical...and I almost grunted loudly while my boss sits behind me wondering what type of fun could I be having all by myself? LOL