Friday, July 30, 2010

FIND-ings



This evening when I returned from work, I found an unusual amount of dead bees in the hallway of my building. After asking myself why, and coming up with no satisfactory answer.... I gathered some.....and brought them home....more later !


Shit, I have blogged 5 times today......
I should probably get out of the house tonight....

Look Whos Cute Now!


Judging by that smile, I'm going to assume they're happier now

FML

I blog more often than I have sex.....like, by a lot!

I love : William Wordsworth

(for all you dog lovers)
I just came across this poem by William Wordsworth (18th century romantic poet). The reason I'm posting it is not only because its totally heartwarming, but because I had actually come up with  a concept for some pictures that basically revolves around the main idea of this poem.  I just had to post it :) Enjoy.




FIDELITY
A BARKING sound the Shepherd hears,
A cry as of a dog or fox;
He halts--and searches with his eyes
Among the scattered rocks:
And now at distance can discern
A stirring in a brake of fern;
And instantly a dog is seen,
Glancing through that covert green.

The Dog is not of mountain breed;
Its motions, too, are wild and shy;
With something, as the Shepherd thinks,
Unusual in its cry:
Nor is there any one in sight
All round, in hollow or on height;
Nor shout, nor whistle strikes his ear;
What is the creature doing here?

It was a cove, a huge recess,
That keeps, till June, December's snow;
A lofty precipice in front,
A silent tarn below!
Far in the bosom of Helvellyn,
Remote from public road or dwelling,
Pathway, or cultivated land;
From trace of human foot or hand.

The Shepherd stood; then makes his way
O'er rocks and stones, following the Dog
As quickly as he may;
Nor far had gone before he found
A human skeleton on the ground;
The appalled Discoverer with a sigh
Looks round, to learn the history.

From those abrupt and perilous rocks
The Man had fallen, that place of fear!
At length upon the Shepherd's mind
It breaks, and all is clear:
He instantly recalled the name,
And who he was, and whence he came;
Remembered, too, the very day
On which the Traveller passed this way.

But hear a wonder, for whose sake
This lamentable tale I tell!
A lasting monument of words
This wonder merits well.
The Dog, which still was hovering nigh,
Repeating the same timid cry,
This Dog, had been through three months' space
A dweller in that savage place.

Yes, proof was plain that, since the day
When this ill-fated Traveller died,
The Dog had watched about the spot,
Or by his master's side:
How nourished here through such long time
He knows, who gave that love sublime;
And gave that strength of feeling, great
Above all human estimate!

Haters : Andy Warhol

So I came in to work this morning as usual.... Logged in, as usual..... and AS USUAL, said hello the cutest little Bunni ever....this morning however she replied:

electrobunni: there was a girl trying to jump ofthe Epic Building this morning
to which I replied......
me: whats the Epic Building?
 As we sat and theorized as to why this girl was on the edge of a building on a Friday morning making everyone sit in morning rush hour traffic, I decided to pull up one of the most memorable suicides I know of. Evelyn McHale jumped off the Empire State Building. Yes....... of course it was over a boy.

Tanya and I continued to discuss....

me: so, what was this girl wearing ?

electrobunni: she was in a brown hoody and shorts


me: DAMN, WHAT A LOSER
If I was going to jump off a building I would wear something better than that
Reading about the picture to the left, I found that this picture was taken by a photography student just 4 minutes after it happeend. He was standing across the street and heard a loud bang! He walked over and shot a picture that would later be published in Time Magazine. I mean, this was his one shot!  The one he would go down in history for.......but oh wait....... leave it to Andy Warhol to completely cag the whole thing...with "HIS" interpretation of it which he cleverly named "Suicide (Fallen Body)" .... Deep, dude.
Todays hater is me....and Im hating on Warhol for being so f-ing lame...sorry to all you Warhol fanatics out there....

Hate Hate Hate.


electrobunni: yea thats crazy
she looks so graceful tho
almost looks fake

me: thats how youre suppose to die.
not in a hoodie and shorts
during RUSHHOUR

electrobunni: lmaooo I love you

Friday, July 23, 2010

I'm lovin it !

Floods, Blackouts, Riots over water, batteries, and generators...

Ah yes, Hurricane Season is here.

Of course its very scary, we could easily lose our homes, vehicles and most importantly OUR LIVES!

BUT I cant say that I dont love those times when a small hurricane passes through Miami and we are left electricity deprived for just a few days.

Why do I like this !? Well, we all sit in the dark with candles and flashlights drinking and talking and kicking it oldschool. I like to kick it old school, it brings on togethernes and I like togetherness! Here was my get up this morning...I was ready to take on the bad weather..

Its gonna be a smooth day :)


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I love : Kelly Wearstler



I love her. She is not only beautiful, but she is a fucking awesome interior designer. I went to the Vice Roy for a networking event for work and I fell in love with the design of every single area of the lobby and of Club 50. I did a little research and found that the designer was California based Kelly Wearstler. I love the quirkiness and vivid colors in her work. She is inspiring <3

 Props to you, Kelly!

I bought 'Hue' for my coffee table, and for all my guests and future guests viewing pleasure.



Friday, July 16, 2010

Going Batty for Bandit

My mother found a small dying bat in her front porch yesterday...I went over in hopes of raising the little bat as my own and naming him Bandit....Um, what the f--- was I thinking? Bats are f-ing SCARY....Since it was just a little baby I figured they might be more.....I dunno, tender?.....haha NO WAY, still scary!

When I got there, Bandit was lying in a pile of ants curled up in a small furry ball. I took a pool net thingie and began poking him...he gathered what little strength he had, spread his wings, and started making this clicking noise with his small terrifying mouth.

I couldnt figure out what was wrong with him, his wings seemed intact and there was no blood or anything. I shoved him out of the pile of ants and started to snap pics of him. I sure as hell wasnt going to go through with my original plan....which was to pick him up with a pair of gardening gloves, cut my finger, let him feast on my blood and bring him home so he could hang out and eat any roaches he may find. I guess I have been watching too much True Blood....

Anyway, here are some pics of Bandit who later crawled away into the darkness when I wasnt looking.




Thursday, July 15, 2010

Blog Review

Today I would like to discuss Beards .... not to be confused with Moustaches......moustaches are ridiculous on many many levels. Men, not all of you have the wherewithal to sport a moustache, but here are some examples of  men that do: Tom Selleck, Clark Gables, Dali, The Brawny Man,  etc.

If you have known me for more than 2 minutes you will know that I love beards.... it wasnt until last nights ESPY awards that it hit me just how much I do...

I was out with a friend for Happy Hour, I found it impossible to focus on our conversation when Paul Rudd magically appeared on the TV behind him  sporting the sexiest beard I have seen on him since "Diggers".

Its a crime against the women and gay men in society to allow Paul Rudd to exit his home looking that way....he's  just waaaay too sexy.

Anyway, Beards.......so they have been around since time began which means that no matter how many flying cars, robots and metalic clothing the future brings, man will never cease to sport this fascinating face fur!
(I just wanted to say fascinating face fur....)

It's amazing how many websites and blogs come up when you google "Beards".... BeardRevue.com is one of those blogs. Showcasing merchandise, artwork,  images, videos, and other quirky beard related things, its the most interesting one I found.... I even became a follower, does that make me a "Beard Enthusiast"?

I recomend going by that site if youre bored of your face and thinking of growing a beard.
Or if you just like beards! Enjoy :)

I now leave you with other men that I love, wearing their beards:

Brad Pitt
Ryan Gosling
Yes....I love Jonah Hill
Robert Downey
And of course... Paul Rudd <3


Friday, July 9, 2010

Prius : The Recap

The Joke is on us today....a white Honda Accord was parked in my spot....Prius and I had to search for another location to park our vessels. I caught a glimpse of this hippie shit Prius owner........it shames me to say he is a but mere old man. Feeble looking even, balding ,with white hair and large glasses. Shame on me....nubile, ripe, young and complaining about getting first dibs in the parking garage.

Yes folks....you just saw Ing learn a lesson.....tadaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

El perro que no come' y no deja comer.

Baby is a smart bitch, as most German Shepherds often are.
Living with a pack of dogs was interesting.... I did it for a year and a half, and learned a lot. I was like...Diane Fossey....but in Fort Myers and with dogs not gorillas.

My favorite thing  to observe was the food fights....I know youre thinking school cafeteria and lunch ladies....no....this was far more interesting....

Baby would lie there next to her food bowl looking the other way, hardly interested in its crunchy contents. Ocassionally she would doze off.....

Chasso, the other dog, would approach casually to eat some food from the bowl....immedietly Babys ears would perk up as she heard him approach. Chasso couldnt get his snout half way inside the bowl before Baby started to viciously bark at poor Chasso. Startled and trying to avoid the drama, he would walk away and search for food elsewhere.

After a few seconds Baby would let her guard down and lie back down.... look the other way...and doze off again. She wasnt hungry....Baby had no desire to eat....but....she sure as hell didnt want Chasso to either.

Funny how dogs do that.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Problem Solved...for now.

I know this roach thing is getting old, and I hope this is the last I blog about the subject.... but.... last night I had a very Howard Hughes moment....a very dear and caring friend decided to bring over the most heavy duty bottle of roach spray with a nifty battery powered sprayer that gave the impression  of shooting laser beams.

I immedietly emerged from my paranoid sleep deprived state and began running around the house erratically pointing out all of my suspected roach entryways. I began  to tape up un-used doors, cracks and holes and then we sprayed every corner with roach spray. (unscented) I was finally able to rest soundly. The only way they can get in...is through the bottom of my front door....so we sprayed that too.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Lost My Spot


Dear Prius Owner,

I've recently noticed that the parking spot in the garage that I have been parking in daily for the last 9 months has been inhabited by your vessel instead of mine. At first, I was under the impression that you were merely a guest in my garage and as any accommodating host  should do,  allowed you to use  my space. However, since then, I have noticed that your car is now parked in my spot DAILY! You arrive earlier than I do, touche'.

My question to you is... What have I done to you? You don't even know me, and yet you cause me such discomfort! I don't even understand why you would want to park in that spot! Its impossible to get into! Could you, unknowing stranger be as lazy as I ?! It is the first spot in the garage and after a long day of work, I don't have to do much walking to get there. This morning however, I noticed you were not there....perhaps you have died? I was once again, able to regain my position as the first car in the garage. However, I know, that you will be back bright and early tomorrow to continue the endless torture that thou has bestowed upon me ( dramatic enough? ) and for that I must say..... go f--- yourself, and your ugly hippie shit car!

Regretfully,
Ing.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

ORT

I decided to drive to my moms house yesterday, I take the Snapper Creek highway to get there. I always encounter one toll on the way....as usual, I slow down at the toll plaza, quickly gather my change, lower my window and begin to extend my arm to hand over my 1.25. I always try to have exact change because that lane goes faster...what really urks me is when people with NO EXACT CHANGE, take my lane. I digress...... As I reached over, I looked up and to my surprise, I see a robotic arm reaching for my hand and not the usual flesh and bone of a dreaery looking toll booth attendant. Perplexed...I drove all the way to my moms house, and upon some research I learned that our local toll booth attendants are now being replaced by robots!

Open Road Tolling will kick in to effect on the 17th of July and although I can see the obvious benefits of this, I cant help but feel saddened for all the toll folks who are going to be laid off. Where are they going to find jobs!?  I paid my toll as usual yesterday and decided to ask the friendly looking toll gentleman.
"Hey..what happens to you guys now that this new toll thing is going into affect?"
he let out a chuckle and replied "Well honey, we're out of a job!"

Thats the future huh? Dispose of all humans and replace them with technology...remove all socializing and replace it with social "networking", order your pizza online, download music and movies ONLINE....I dunno man, I'm not cool with this whole "future" shit.Change is kind of scary to me, specially when it creates less jobs and need for humans. The machines are taking over, people...run.