Friday, June 11, 2010


I opened my kitchen drawer yesterday in search for a bottle opener... Instead, I found A FILTHY LITTLE GERMAN scattering away! I freaked, and yelled one of the few things I've learned in my many years wanting to learn German... "WAS IST DIESE!?"

The Little German stopped mid step, quickly turned, and looked up at me.
Intruiged, he walked closer to me and said: "Waaaaaaaas? Sprichst du Deutsch?"

"Ya, ich sprechen nein gut deutsch!" I said...."What are you doing in my utensil drawer!?"

"I live here..." he said in his best english "With my wife...and my children!"

"But this is MY house, and you dont pay rent here! Frankly, I find my kitchen drawer an unsuitable place for you to raise a family..."

"We like it here, thank you kindly...we fled Germany because my grandfather was part of Hitlers Army and after he fell from power, we were forced to leave, so we came to America!"

"Makes sense" I uttered under my breath...and closed the drawer.

Yes folks, I have fucking roaches...I think they finally caught on to the fact that someone has taken residence in apartment 7 and now there is a whole array of drawers to dwell in. I am grossed out and plan to kill all those little german fuckers by any means possible.

My perfect little haven has been infested by the filthiest critters alive! I DONT WANT ROOMATES!

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